Saturday, October 18, 2008

I'm beginning to feel a little sick tonight. I have been trying to fix my computer all day, somehow I downloaded a virus and I had to go out and get a spyware kit and it was just a mess trying to get it all figured out, it literally took 3 hours to clean out all the junk on this computer.

I really need to get myself up to date on all of this stuff.

So today didn't turn out to be as productive as I thought it should have been work wise.

I went to the gym, then came home and began working on this and paying bills, I really need to get a job, I just don't know where in the heck I'll find the time to work, and go to school 12 hours a day 2 days a week, teach 2 lessons a week in different schools at opposite ends of town, prepare the lessons, and do whatever other work I get from my other classes that have kind of taken a back seat to my Education classes.
I really need to work, I know I do, but I am so afraid I won't be able to handle all of this stress, I become overwhelmingly dependent of food when I am in a vulnerable position, right now I am learning to cope with things, by have a free day once or twice a week, and still exercising. Truthfully I am selfish in a way, I want to be able to get up and go to the gym for 2 hours a day, then come home, shower, and do my school work at my pace, which is sort of slow, but that's how I get the good grades. LOL.
I mean you have to admit, for someone that dropped out of school at 16 to be pulling the grades I'm pulling I think I'm doing okay. However, I also think this may be one of the reasons I have some difficulty now and then with certain classes, because this is the first time I am being introduced to this stuff.

Like I said I'm not feeling to good tonight, I have this nagging tickle in my throat so I'm probablt going to go rest and finish up my work, then have a cup of tea and head to bed.


Linda said...

Hi Eva,
I'm getting caught up here, I've had some bad days with a new medicine I'm taking, but today I've been able to sit up all day without being dizzy or sick!
I'm sorry you have a virus on your PC, been there & done that....NOT FUN!!!
I know it seems like you will never work out a schedule for your life where you can balance everything and leave you somewhat stress free, but you just takes time. You have a lot going on right now, so it is overwhelming you...but it will all work out in the end.
I'm very proud of you for going back to takes hard work & discipline, and you are kicking butt! Good for you! Just like your battle with are more in control than you think, you just have to change the way you see yourself.
I have faith in you Eva!

Love You!
Pooh Hugs,

Janis said...

I will be praying that you find a way to get your schedule straight. Once that happens I think you will handle things just fine. You have shown us over and over again how strong you are! :) You can do it!

Hope you can fight that cold off!


MizMags said...

It's good to deal with the good and not so good stuff here. I think it's great you can identify things that kinda tend to throw a wrench in your progress. Thinks that get into your head and let those demons free. I'm glad you're working out a way to change things and keeping control of all that is important to you! One day at a time girl, you got it going on!
love yourself, you're so worth it,
love and hugs,

Anonymous said...

Dear Eva

I just caught up on your blog. I mustsay you were great with dealing with your professors. I love the way you put everyone together. Girl don't worry about getting a job school a job just by yourself. keep up the great work. I sooooooooo proud of you and feel better


MizMags said...

:just peeking in: