Saturday, October 18, 2008

I'm beginning to feel a little sick tonight. I have been trying to fix my computer all day, somehow I downloaded a virus and I had to go out and get a spyware kit and it was just a mess trying to get it all figured out, it literally took 3 hours to clean out all the junk on this computer.

I really need to get myself up to date on all of this stuff.

So today didn't turn out to be as productive as I thought it should have been work wise.

I went to the gym, then came home and began working on this and paying bills, I really need to get a job, I just don't know where in the heck I'll find the time to work, and go to school 12 hours a day 2 days a week, teach 2 lessons a week in different schools at opposite ends of town, prepare the lessons, and do whatever other work I get from my other classes that have kind of taken a back seat to my Education classes.
I really need to work, I know I do, but I am so afraid I won't be able to handle all of this stress, I become overwhelmingly dependent of food when I am in a vulnerable position, right now I am learning to cope with things, by have a free day once or twice a week, and still exercising. Truthfully I am selfish in a way, I want to be able to get up and go to the gym for 2 hours a day, then come home, shower, and do my school work at my pace, which is sort of slow, but that's how I get the good grades. LOL.
I mean you have to admit, for someone that dropped out of school at 16 to be pulling the grades I'm pulling I think I'm doing okay. However, I also think this may be one of the reasons I have some difficulty now and then with certain classes, because this is the first time I am being introduced to this stuff.

Like I said I'm not feeling to good tonight, I have this nagging tickle in my throat so I'm probablt going to go rest and finish up my work, then have a cup of tea and head to bed.

5 comments:

Linda said...

Hi Eva,
I'm getting caught up here, I've had some bad days with a new medicine I'm taking, but today I've been able to sit up all day without being dizzy or sick!
I'm sorry you have a virus on your PC, been there & done that....NOT FUN!!!
I know it seems like you will never work out a schedule for your life where you can balance everything and leave you somewhat stress free, but you will...it just takes time. You have a lot going on right now, so it is overwhelming you...but it will all work out in the end.
I'm very proud of you for going back to school...it takes hard work & discipline, and you are kicking butt! Good for you! Just like your battle with food....you are more in control than you think, you just have to change the way you see yourself.
I have faith in you Eva!

Love You!
Pooh Hugs,
Linda

Janis said...

I will be praying that you find a way to get your schedule straight. Once that happens I think you will handle things just fine. You have shown us over and over again how strong you are! :) You can do it!

Hope you can fight that cold off!

Janis

MizMags said...

It's good to deal with the good and not so good stuff here. I think it's great you can identify things that kinda tend to throw a wrench in your progress. Thinks that get into your head and let those demons free. I'm glad you're working out a way to change things and keeping control of all that is important to you! One day at a time girl, you got it going on!
love yourself, you're so worth it,
love and hugs,
Maggie

izzzybee82 said...

Dear Eva


I just caught up on your blog. I mustsay you were great with dealing with your professors. I love the way you put everyone together. Girl don't worry about getting a job school a job just by yourself. keep up the great work. I sooooooooo proud of you and feel better

Rosa

MizMags said...

:just peeking in: