I'm still working on what makes me tick. I just read my last post and realize that I've lost 69 pounds since having Haeley! That seems like a large nimber when I take the time to look at it, but when I think about it on a daily basis it seems miniscule to me because I am constanly gaining and losing the same few pounds. I don't know why this is, I just can't seem to let myself get over the fact that I don't need to binge. What I do need to do is work on my feelings and the things that are bothering me, in order for me NOT to binge, and stuff my feelings down with food. How does one do this? That's what I'm working on figuring out.
As I write this post Haeley is climbing on top of me, yelling out the window at the men redoing our front steps. She's so funny, and assertive already. I'm glad that she has an assertive presence about her already. I don't think she's going to let people push her around. I hope not. There is so much you want for your children as their parents, it's crazy to think that one day she will be an adult making her own life decisions, and the only thing she'll have to go on is what she was taught by us, or what she observed. I hope to make a good example of myself, so that my daughter can grow to be a better person than I am.
It's not that I don't think of myself as a good person, I just want so much more for her, that's all.