Today was a pretty good day diet wise, my husband had some family over, and he cooked a lot, (he plans on beginning his diet on Monday), and I can happily state that I stuck to my guns and didn't indulge in things that would make me later OVER indulge. That's what I tend to do when I eat something that I deem "toxic" to my progress. As my diet profile states, I am an all or nothing type of dieter, heck I'm pretty much an all or nothing type of person. Anyway today went well, and I plan on making the best of tomorrow as well. I haven't begun my exercise routine yet, but I will soon. For me, in the beginning it's all about getting the right foods in first. Once I get myself together "foodwise", and I feel comfortable with my progress there, I will begin incorporating exercise into my daily life once again, and I have to say I am pretty excited about that. I know what works for me, I just have to apply it, I will do this again, I can do this again!

New Year, New Incentive...

In January of 2006 I embarked on a journey to lose weight, I weighed 290+ pounds. By December of that same year I had lost 146 pounds. In November of 2008 I discovered I was pregnant, over the next 9 months I proceded to gain all of my weight back, after having my beautiful daughter I lost 45 pounds without trying, it might have been due to the loss of appetite after my C-Section, because after I healed my appetite was back with a vengance. I ended up GAINING 18 pounds. So here I sit on the first of January 4 years later looking to make a promise to myself. My promise is to try harder, to workout at least 4 times a week, and to enjoy the life I have with my husband and my baby girl.I know i can lose the weight again, I just have to apply myself in the same manner that I did the first time. I have no excuses not to do this, I just have to talk myself out of giving into the temptations that are often more tempting in my mind than they actually are in reality. I am a foodie, we tend to sensationalize food mentally, when in reality certain things just aren't worth the guilt. So here's to a new year, and new experiences.

I feel a tightening in my chest, its the feeling you get when you realize your utterly alone. There is just so much a person can take, I just feel as if my feelings are always pushed to the side. Is there something about me that lets people instinctivly know this is okay? I am sick of coming in second to everyone around me, things will change, I owe it to myself to make a change.

Starting Anew...

My Haeley with her "Dominic the Donkey" Christmas gift from Grandma and Grandpa.



It's been a while for me, and I guess I might have to figure out how to get back into the blogging routine. I'm sure it won't be that difficult.
Life for me has changed considerably, I'm a mom now! I have a five month old daughter named Haeley, she is my world. I honestly didn't know what real, true, unconditional love was until I held her in my arms that first day. She is me and I am her, we fit together like puzzle pieces. I can't imagine my life without her, and I feel like in some way she's always been here.


I think of her before I think of myself, I suppose that will be happening for the rest of my life. In the beginning I didn't want to spend time with anyone else but her, it was like I was trying to keep her to myself, but I think I was also getting to know her, and I wanted to do that without prying eyes. We bonded, I fell in love. How does a little person make you love them so deeply, when you don't even know them?





During the course of my pregnancy I manged to gain all my weight back, I enjoyed the excuse to eat, never really giving a thought to the damage I was doing to myself. Well the damage is done, and as of January 1st, I will be getting myself in gear and trying to get back in shape, I want this for myself as much as my daughter. I want to be able to play with her, and not be tired. I want to feel comfortable in my own skin, so I will be able to teach her to value herself. I want to live long enough to see her fall in love, get married and have babies of her own.

Spoke too soon...

Hello everyone!

Last week I ended my post stating that I have no morning sickness yet, well I spoke too soon, and wish I could take it back. For the most part the worst thing I can say is happening is that my stomach is constantly churning, almost as if I'm going to get sick but then I don't. I feel disgusted with food, but I know I have to eat. And since I stopped taking my heartburn medication, it has gotten 10x worse, and once again I feel disgusting.

I am also very, very tired, I WANT to walk more, and exercise a little, but I just can't seem to do it. My body isn't letting me.

So that's pretty much all that has been going on. I feel like a lazy slob :(

A Few Questions For All You Mom's Out There...

Okay, so as you all know, this is my first time. I really don't know what to expect. I'll tell you how I've been feeling lately, and maybe you can all tell me if it's normal.
For one thing, I am tired, all the time. I feel asleep in the car today, and I never do that because I am a nervous passenger.
Also before I even knew, I was having weird cravings for stuff I haven't eaten in years, like mayonaise and cheese sandwhiches, which I loved as a kid. they just seem so appealing right now.
This may be a sensitive one, but my breast are a little sore, and they feel "fuller" than usual, although I know it's too early for them to be filling up. Right?

I don't know what else right now, I'm too tired to think, but please let me know some things about all of your pregnancies, so I can know what to look for.

BTW, no morning sickness yet, is this normal?

ANNOUNCEMENT!!!!

I'm pregnant!!! I'm in such a fog I can't even begin to tell you. I know it's early but I had to share the news, we found out yesterday.

This explains a lot.

My doctor was so funny yesterday, when he came in the room he looked at me and said, "Eva you look like your nervous about something, what's going on?" I preceded to tell him that I took 3 different pregnancy tests and they all came back positive, but I wasn't completely sure because, the line was light.

He laughed, and asked me if I wanted to be pregnant, and for the first time, I admitted outloud that yes I do. He then said "Well you are!! Congratualtions!

I immediately began sweating like a pig in a sauna. I've been checking out pregnancy websites all day yesterday, and today. Although I know it very early, and I am a little afraid about what's to come, my sister says to enjoy it rather than stress it. So that's my motto from now on.

I am not going to let the little things get to me, and I am going to enjoy everyday of this experience to it's fullest.